I was driving home from work on Friday, in fact, it was my last day working there. Honestly, I don’t process things well. That’s probably why I incessantly process things, so it still hasn’t hit me that I’m moving on, but what has been my life for the past 2 months, and a huge part of my life for the past 6 months is no more. For many, this may not be a big deal, but for me, it is. I guess it was more about the people, than it was the place or what I was doing that makes it significant.
As I was saying, though, I was driving home on an overcast day– we are talking just a bleary, colorless day– scanning the skies as I was supposed to be driving. Clouds, clouds, everywhere, like a soft, washed out blanket. It was getting cold again, after a perfect day the prior, and I was trying to register the significance of the day and my current point in life, but all I could really notice was the grey and an anomaly; a ray of sunshine poking out. Somewhere on the landscape ahead, the sun was providing color, warmth, energy, and life. Then another hole, and another hole; several solar punctures radiating light before me, and at the moment I knew; I was looking at my own life.
In the rear view was more lifeless grey, and cold. Cold times, years filled with a lot of hurt, weakness, lifelessness, but also a lot of beauty, a lot of growth, and a long time with a special person. I didn’t care what was behind me anymore, I was just fixated on the bit of sunshine. Things are still largely overcast and dreary for me right now, but as I have for so long, I can count on these spurts of sunshine blessing my life just long enough to head down the way a bit more, until finally the skies clear up, and I am once again surrounded by color and warmth.
It was the simplest of metaphors, and not a very original one, either, but in the moment, it was the most powerful thing I had witnessed in my life. So I keep going on.