5/23/2013: Once again, this is very outdated. It’s interesting, nonetheless.
Original:
I have often asked myself this, because sometimes this thing is just an overly public diary. There are a few reasons I come up with.
They range from having some friends who like to read these postings, to using it as a means to circumvent the times when I am not open enough with people, to the fact that I often write many other things that are not what you’d write in a private journal, but…
I think it boils down to one thing over all. There are many times in my life where I’ve just felt like disappearing. If I could just vanish from the world entirely, I’d have been happy. To this day, I am often tempted by that notion to just become a hermit completely and take the least path of resistance. If I continue to write on here, I prevent myself from being able to recede entirely, because I will always be out there in some sort of space, and I can’t hide what I’ve already put out there. It isn’t rare that I put myself out there on here in ways that make me wake up the next day and wonder what I’ve done, why I’ve done it, but if I didn’t do that, I surely would have snailed up by now, and I’d just be hanging out by myself in a shell in a wet cave– naked.